Last week, I picked up a friend from Sky Harbor. He’s a pilot — in town for 24 hours, and we had plans that showed me what recovery relationships are all about.
We met in a recovery group. Both high performers. Both realizing the connections we built around work, status, and unhealthy habits weren’t serving us. So instead of just talking about recovery, we lived it.
Beyond The Meetings
The golf course became our therapy session. Between shots, we talked about balancing ambition with humility. Him navigating his career, me closing deals without the artificial confidence I once leaned on.
The honesty was powerful. But the real gift was the vulnerability. We weren’t trying to tone ourselves down—we were figuring out how to show up as our authentic selves, sustainably.
The Integration
After golf, he came to my house for dinner with my wife and kids. No compartmentalizing. No masks. Just authenticity.
My kids didn’t know his story, but they felt his genuineness. My wife noticed how present he was. This wasn’t networking or transactional — it was community.
Why Recovery Relationships Are Different
- Truth over image. You lead with your hardest truths, not a highlight reel.
- Growth over ego. They challenge your patterns instead of enabling them.
- Integration over isolation. They strengthen every part of your life, not just one.
The High Performer’s Dilemma
For years, my relationships were transactional—great as long as I was achieving and keeping up the image. But they couldn’t handle vulnerability. Recovery taught me to build differently: on accountability, shared values, and long-term thinking.
The Compound Effect
After he left, I realized great recovery relationships don’t just support sobriety. They make you better everywhere — at home, in business, and as a leader.
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