Introduction
If you haven’t watched Being Eddie on Netflix, you should check it out. It isn’t just a documentary. It’s a masterclass in identity, discipline, and long-term decision-making. The man has survived levels of fame, pressure, temptation, and scrutiny that would break most people. Yet he came out grounded, centered, and still evolving.
Three ideas landed for me. High performers and anyone trying to build a meaningful life will get a lot out of this film.
1. Love Yourself Enough To Stay Out of the Fire
Murphy says he “always loved himself too much” to get pulled into the drugs and destructive culture of the 80s entertainment scene.
That’s not ego. That’s self-respect.
I mean, he got snowed in for a week at Rick James house and stayed sober.
Self-love is often misunderstood. It’s not pampering or affirmations. It’s discipline. It’s refusing to walk into environments that you know will burn your life down. It’s choosing identity over impulse.
I wasn’t always great at this, but I’m getting better. Self-love is a skill.
High performers who master self-respect eliminate most of their problems before they ever show up. They also earn more respect from their peers in the process.
2. Stop Doing. Start Being.
This was the gem of the documentary. Eddie talks about not living like he’s in a rowboat, constantly straining and grinding toward some imaginary finish line. He lives like he’s in a sailboat.
He positions himself, he aligns with the wind, he stops forcing outcomes and lets things unfold.
That’s the difference between doing and being.
Rowboats burn people out. Sailboats go farther with less effort because they work with the environment instead of fighting it.
For high performers, this isn’t being passive. It’s being intentional. You still take action, but you’re not attached to the outcome. You’re not chasing. You’re not proving. You’re aligned, grounded, and strategic. You control the inputs and trust the final result….even if it will probably be influenced by forces outside your control.
This mindset shift is a turning point for anyone trying to elevate their performance.
Practice detachment. It will change how you operate.
3. Put Your Family First and You’ll Make the Right Decision Every Time
Murphy says the simplest, clearest thing in the entire film:
When he puts his children first, he never makes a wrong decision. I swapped ‘children’ with ‘family’.
That’s a values compass.
This hit hard because I haven’t always lived this way. Over the past few years, I’ve spent real time defining my values and making decisions that line up with them.
No ego. No overthinking. No impulsive choices that create chaos. When your decisions run through the filter of “What’s best for my family?” you naturally step into long-term thinking, integrity, and stability.
In leadership, this keeps you grounded and trustworthy. In performance, it gives clarity when pressure is high.
People talk about legacy as status or achievement. Eddie reframes it: legacy is the ripple effect of your choices.
Identity Beats Everything
Across all three lessons, one theme shows up again and again: identity.
It asks a simple question:
Who do I have to become to do what’s required to have the life I want?
Self-respect.
Alignment.
Values-first decisions.
Eddie Murphy isn’t preaching at all. He’s modeling a way of living where your inner world sets your trajectory. When you build identity first, everything else gets easier: performance, relationships, leadership, and meaningful achievement.
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